


Not a fic. This is a Note to my readers.

by WindStar27



Category: Non-Fiction - Fandom
Genre: Slow To Update, Status Updates, Waiting For Update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindStar27/pseuds/WindStar27
Summary: Note to my readers explaining lack of updates and apologizing for it. Though I am aware I likely do not need to do so.
Kudos: 2





	Not a fic. This is a Note to my readers.

Ok:

This may come across as rambling, and, if it does, I am sorry.

But please trust me that I do have a reason for posting this and am heading somewhere with it.

  
Anyway- First:  
I felt that I should apologize to my readers.   
I am sorry that I have not updated my stories lately. I have been wanting to do this for a long time.   
While I am well aware that some will say that I don't need to do so, or that I shouldn't worry about it: I do.

That said, however: I was unsure how many people were still actually interested in my stories or were really still reading or waiting.  
I know for sure that one reader still is waiting patiently.   
While I ocassionally do get added to favorites on fanfiction net or get kudos on AO3, I don't get many comments or reviews (and I am not fishing for them by making that statement, as it may come across to some as I am) - neither good nor bad.  
I am not saying this to be critical of my readers.

I simply mean to point out that it is one reason for me to be unsure of things.... To not really feel a sense of urgency (for lack of a better word) in updating.

Anyway, another factor in delaying my story updates is:   
since 2016 I have been having one personal disaster after another after another and my depression (which I have struggled with since childhood, along with PTSD, anxiety and some other issues) has just gotten worse.

Causing a severe writing block.

I am also a fine artist, a sculptor and jewelry artist (which, since I have health issues is my only way to earn money) under my real name, and I have been left with a block there, as well.

Basically I have been left with mostly such an overwhelmingly/debilitating depression that has left me unable to do anything.  
That further compounds my depression.   
It's really a nasty cycle.

Added to it the current state of the political, social/societal & economical affairs (online and off) as well as the current worldwide health situation (online and off).... 

My depression gets worse.

Being unable to write or to.... Do... ANYTHING...... Is making that worse.

So, I guess::

As well as to apologize, I wanted to let my readers know this:

I WANT to get back to my stories.   
it's not that I am done with them.   
Or that I have lost interest in them.   
I am still planning to continue and finish them all **_(well, most of them, anyway. I actually am thinking of discontinuing 2 or 3 of my pokémon fics in my pokemon series because I was personally attacked in private messages here and on ff.net about them and it really upset and discouraged me. Since there is no real blocking feature on here I hesitate to do anything more with them here or elsewhere because the attacks were quite personal and quite nasty.... Aparently bullying people is very much not a problem here or on ff.net....)_ **and to do more stories. 

It's just hard. I had to give up going to my mental health clinic for... Reasons.

So I have no one to talk to (I feel like I burden friends who have troubles as bad or worse than my own) and I was taken off of my medication because of new rules by the government, and everything else they tried me on for the anxiety and depression caused more problems..... So I have no outlet anymore.... And nothing they tried me on helped. I gave up.

Anyway....

If you are still with me:   
Thank you for waiting patiently and not bugging me.

But, it would also be nice from time to time to hear from my readers.

Well.   
As long as it's nothing nasty, that is. constructive criticism is fine, but.... flames aren't.   
I really don't need any more depression, please.

Anyway- I am sorry for the rambling. If you read this far, thank you. If you are one of my long time patient readers: thank you.


End file.
